Domingo Jones

As everyone in the whole world including Hilary Clinton’s housekeeper knows, after 20 years of collecting dust on a shelf somewhere, the Indiana Jones franchise machine has once again begun spinning into motion.

In fact, the brand itself is not the only thing that’s in need of some resurrection. It’s star, Harrison Ford is so old he has a signed copy of The Bible.

And so to celebrate the milestone of casting an actor so old he sweats dust, we’ve created a new online game!!

Ladies and gentlemen, doof.com is proud to present, ‘Indiana Bones and the Care Home of Gloom‘!

Keep Harrison alive by catching as many green pills as you can, the more you swallow, the longer you’ll stay alive in the game! Stay away from the red pills unless you want to expire…

I wanted to be cast as the main character in this game. But then there wouldn’t have been a point. And it would probably be called Domingo Jones and the playroom from hell. And I’d be catching rusks instead of pills. And dodging Michael Jackson.